I guess that makes me a faux pa. How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. The trooper, having never seen a man arrest himself before, walks over to the man and asks, "What are you doin, son? 624. Not sure about favorite but I read this one in one of these threads a while ago and any time I've retold it since it gets a huge laugh: A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar. He tells me getting high is the best part of the job. ", The trooper says excitedly, "I've got some flares in the back of my car. "Alright," says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won't give you a ticket." I got these new shoes from a drug dealer... Did you know you can't run through a campground? Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting? People laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. They spot a good-sized rock and toss it down the well next. The clown says, "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." "But...that's impossible. While looking at each other and down the well in shock a farmer runs up to them. A protestant minister, a Catholic Priest, and a Rabbi were in a coffee shop arguing about whose religion is best. Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting "20! I just want to know what this subreddit counts as clean jokes. In person, he was incredibly quick witted; I met him when he was about 70, and he was absolutely running rings around people. An Oklahoma state trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding. "Did they give you the one hundred dollars? Got some good jokes of your own? He had done it all his life, and he intended to continue. I like dad jokes but I don’t have any kids. I brought him to temple every Saturday. "It sprinted and dived into this well here! 19! Idk what they're laced with but I've been tripping all day. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. She agreed. At that moment the Rabbi is wheeled in with a full body cast. He says, "Which one of you idiots stole my horse?!" I’ve only got my shelf to blame. I tied it to an engine block.". Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store. That day, Rabbi Finklestein comes in to get his payot trimmed. They take a look down the well, and can't see the bottom. "Nothing, for a man of God such as yourself.". Obsessed with travel? Press J to jump to the feed. I did all that I could to raise him in the faith. ", The wife said, "Thank you, that means more than you could imagine. When I pass away I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my father. The man stood at the podium and said, "Plethora." Surprising no one, the next month he had killed someone else with the train. As he is mounting up the bartender walks out and asks, "Say partner, what'd you have to do in Texas?" Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. There once was a man in Guam who loved driving trains. They want to know how long the drop is so one of them throws a pebble down there. Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah. After watching for a few minutes, the drunk man then climbs into the back seat of the squad car. And the next morning, what do you know? 22 comments. About half an hour later he comes back out. He says: "Rabbi, I need help. ", The farmer looked at the boys, puzzled. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones. "I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.". One day, he drove his train a little too fast and ended up killing someone on the tracks. I also have a son that I did all I could to raise as a Jew. save. share. I'm just a bad conductor.". He went to Hebrew school after regular school too. He ate a single banana for his last meal, and he was off to the chair. You'll never hear the end of it.". THe next week, the Priest comes in to the coffee shop with his arm in a sling and sees the minister drinking coffee with a cast on his leg. Full disclosure: These jokes may or may not have come from dads.

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